The Cockroach

Feb 21
Two nights in a row, a cockroach has appeared, 
happy-go-lucky, just dangling his antennae out on 
top of my mirror above the sink.  The first time I 
saw him, I swatted at him with my lime green fly 
swatter.  I could tell I just knocked him off his 
perch and didn’t kill him.  But when I saw him in 
exactly the same place the next day – at the 
right-hand edge, facing north, just like before - 
I couldn’t believe it, twiddling his little scrawny 
hands as if he was coating himself with sun tan lotion 
on a glorious day at the beach.  I swatted him again, 
but I know I just knocked him over.
 For a second, I got really mad at this obnoxious 
cockroach, who wouldn’t go away, dodging my swats 
time and again. Then, as I was walking back to the 
living room, I realized that that little critter out 
there is my new roommate.  Suddenly my feelings changed.  
I found myself looking for him in his regular spot when 
I brushed my teeth to go to bed.  If I don’t see him 
tomorrow when I get home from work, I might even be 
disappointed.  But if I do see him, I’ll be sure to 
name him.  As long as he doesn’t breed – which I suppose 
is out of the question, and “he” might be a “she”, anyway – 
but...if we could make that deal, I think we could live together 
side-by-side without any problems at all.  He’d be the happiest 
cockroach this side of the Williamsburg Bridge, sharing an 
apartment with me, not paying rent, living off my delicious 
take-out leftovers – the cream of Brooklyn cuisine - and having my 
personal guarantee of his life.  And I’d have someone to look 
out for when I got home.  Actually, I’ve already decided, his 
name is Sid.  Whether I see him again or not.  It’s Sid.


Feb 23 
I didn’t see Sid yesterday.  Thought maybe I’d scared him off for 
good with all that swatting.  But today, I thought I saw him behind 
the dishwashing liquid, then scuttle off and hide in the corner when 
my shadow loomed over the sink.  He was about the same size, but 
really I can’t tell that it’s Sid unless he’s sitting in his regular 
spot.  It’s not like he has a blond crewcut and one missing tooth, so 
that I can recognize him.  But a couple of hours later, there his is. 
  In exactly the same spot – at the right edge of the mirror, facing 
north.  He looked like he was asleep – no dancing antennae – so I 
didn’t want to disturb him.  Just smiled and said, “Hi Sid.”
 But then I came to wondering if Sid was the right name for him.  
Seems like it could be, but the only problem is my last Japanese 
fighting fish, after a few weeks in my custody, had earned the Sid 
Vicious... (originally known as Terriaki Finger Lickin’ Good, 
followed by three lip-smacking sounds) ....because that fish was so 
mean that he tried to attack your fingers with unabashed rage when 
you fed him.  I guess I’ll have to differentiate this one by calling 
him Sid the Roach, because he’s not vicious at all.  I’m the vicious 
one in our relationship.  I also have to come to terms with the facts 
that “Sid” may be “Sidetta” and may be making babies behind the 
mirror somewhere.  I have visions of waking up one morning to 
hundreds of tiny, mini-Sids fanning out from behind the mirror.  
Hopefully, Sid/Sidetta is barren.  Maybe she’s trying to have babies, 
but it’s not working out.  Kinda like me.  


Feb 24, 2am
My relationship with Sid is souring.  I’m becoming suspicious – 
wondering what he’s up to behind the mirror, wondering where he’s 
walking his dirty feet when the lights go out and I’m asleep.  For 
the first time since the beginning, I saw him today and wanted to 
swat him.  Maybe because he wasn’t in his usual spot.  He was closer 
to the left side of the mirror ledge, his bottom towards me, his head 
dipping down behind the mirror.  Looking like he’s up to no good.  
But I couldn’t swat him.  Because I’ve already named him.  That’s Sid 
the Roach. That's my roommate.